Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
