Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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