He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
