I'm drive I can fine osifer
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
