i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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