I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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