Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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