if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
