Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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