roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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