plz talk dirty to me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
