So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize