she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
cat food counts as protein by the way
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
