I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
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