It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
