I wanna passion pit in your ass
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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