You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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