This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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