There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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