You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
