some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
