I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
