I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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