watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
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I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
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Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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