I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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