oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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