I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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