Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
