In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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