I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
