I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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