I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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