Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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