found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
