"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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