Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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