Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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