So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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