I think my fart just growled at me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
