Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
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OPIZZABONMYDICK
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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