he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
