I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
