Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
