every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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