Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
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You're like the curious george of whores
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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