McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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