did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
