I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
