I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
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Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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