Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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