am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
