I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
