So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
