Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There r osticjed everywhere
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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