the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
