Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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