just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
