just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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