So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
