I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
