I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
