What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
